Transformative Intentions: Embracing Happiness and Vulnerability, Day 8

Have you ever wondered how setting intentions could transform your life? Join me on the eighth day of the orgasmic alchemical reset as I recount my personal journey of embracing happiness and relaxation, which led to profound life changes. Today, my challenge is to release barriers to receiving big desires, a task that pushes me to confront my own anxiety and vulnerability. Through self-pleasure practices, I work to transmute limiting beliefs and navigate the complexities of authenticity in public spaces. My story is one of healing, as I reconcile with past traumas like enmeshment and learn to accept the love around me, especially from my adorable kittens.

As we explore these intimate reflections, I invite you to consider how these themes resonate with your own life and the importance of sharing these insights with others. Our community thrives on shared experiences and open discussions, so feel free to share this episode with friends. As a special thank you for being part of this journey, you can access a free orgasmic alchemy self-pleasure audio guide by checking the show notes for more details. Let's continue to grow together and embrace the abundant life that awaits. Ciao for now!


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Chapters

• 0:01 Orgasmic Alchemical Reset and Self-Exploration
• 9:02 Shared Reflections and Gratitudes

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey babe, welcome back. This is day eight of the orgasmic alchemical reset and I would love to know where you're at in this experience. Have you been doing the self-pleasure practice? What's coming up for you? Do you have questions? Tell me all the things. I'm going to make additional videos to address what's coming up for you and answer questions and tell me what your intention is, if you haven't already, because I that will know, like your level of intensity, because I'm really recognizing that intention with this is so important.

Speaker 1: 0:40

When I did this before, my only intention was to chill the fuck out and be happier, and it worked. It did a great job, it was fun, it was easy, changed a lot of things in my life, my experience, and this time my intention is very different. My intention is to release and alchemize everything that is in the way of my receiving my big desires and manifestations and quantum leaping into a new life. So it's been a little bit more challenging. You know, just healing, like minor things like this. What was it? Yesterday it was I'm not valuable and I'm not valued. Well, today it was I cannot be myself and be loved on every level. So the alchemical self-pleasure process really was supportive in transmuting that belief. But before I got into that, it was the day to start posting. I had chosen the winter solstice to start posting, and so the anxiety that I was having about showing up in this new way was dizzying. It was like I'm going to pass out. I'm so anxious and, um, right, cause. Everything else that I've done is like I'm showing up as a teacher, I'm showing up as the coach and the healer who, you know, shared with me that when I am really myself, there is a powerful transmission, and so I am choosing to continue to tune into that. To continue to tune into that Like I really I was really excited about this idea when Spirit brought it up, like, yes, I want to share with the world, like I want to take these videos and make them into memoirs.

Speaker 1: 3:19

And then, as I'm doing it, I'm like, well, I'm doing it bad and I'm doing it wrong, and maybe next time, because this one is you know. So I'm talking to my friend about my anxiety about posting this and how it feels, like I'm like laying it all out on the line. Like you know, with this video diary idea, and I do think there is a container for healing. Hopefully you're finding, you're having epiphanies and and finding wisdom and and allowing the, the shifting to happen that is available when you're, when you're just in this container, in this vortex here with me, and the pleasure portal spirit called it earlier today and like it really does feel like a portal, it really really does feel like I'm going to come out of this somewhere completely different and thank God for that.

Speaker 1: 4:21

I love it. Let's, let's just keep quantum leaping through life. You know, great love, great sex, phenomenal business and massive money. Yeah, yes, please, um, and so so back to what I was saying. Um, I was talking to my friend and you know she said about my, my honest transmission when I'm being myself, and that she thought that maybe in the past I hadn't been doing that um, that I'd been using the smile defense.

Speaker 1: 5:05

Uh, you smiling as defense, smiling to keep you away from me, keep you from hurting me, keep you okay, and, um, it felt really true. It reminded me that I had been watching this video about enmeshment trauma the other day, and I'm sure we all have different kinds of trauma growing up and different kinds of enmeshment trauma, and for me, it was being my mother's best friend and therapist from a very young age. And there I go, smiling while I talk. Again, it's amazing that I can make a whole video and I can talk and smile at the same time. Do the whole thing. How does she do it? Do it so?

Speaker 1: 6:01

Um, in the video the woman was talking about how, if you have enmeshment trauma, anytime there is any other person, you are being something else, um, something that will, I guess, like what I said was like make you feel safe and make, make the situation Okay and make sure everything you know, everybody's all right and make sure I'm safe because I am in this different state where I'm I'm holding, I'm holding an offering, this happiness, please, please, please, please, be happy so that you'll take care of me. Please be happy so that we will survive, so that I will survive, so that we can go on in this family. And um, and that reminded me how, you know, I got these kittens. I named them fame and fortune because I just I couldn't come home to an empty house anymore. Um, and I couldn't even understand that the kittens loved me. I was like I don't get how they want to be with me and how that they like me and they, they love me. Like I couldn't wrap my head around it and I couldn't even receive the love of my kittens. Um, so you know, just like, just like minor things, I'm working on Um, if you can resonate, uh, or you can um, if you understand, um, I want to send you, send you my love, and uh, know that we are clearing it now.

Speaker 1: 8:15

And so, as we're talking about this smile defense and the enmeshment, trauma and all of that I felt I went from being dizzy, pass out, anxious, to feel like I was dying. I couldn't even hold myself up and um, so I was like, okay, I'm just going to feel through this, I'm going to sit in this dying sensation and um, um, let it do what it does when you are present with the ick. And if I'm dying, then cheers to that, because you have to die to be reborn, and I'm all about the rebirth. Coming back back to the light. Here we are. So thanks for listening. I would love to know what came up for you listening to this, if you have similarities in your life and experience. And thanks for being here. I'll see you tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 9:34

Thanks for listening to this. I'll see you tomorrow conversation. I would love it if you would share the show with them. It's so much more fun to talk through these things together. Remember to get your free follow along orgasmic alchemy self pleasure audio guide in the show notes below. I look forward to connecting with you again next time. Ciao, for now you.