Embracing Self-Worth: Reflections on Personal Value and Transformation, Day 14

Unravel the layers of self-worth and transcend self-judgment in this intimate exploration of personal growth on day 14 of the Orgasmic Alchemy Portal to the Podcast. Join me on a journey inspired by a forgotten book by Nancy Levin, which ignited a conversation with myself about my financial dreams and the deep-rooted beliefs that have held me back. It’s a path filled with vulnerability, as I share my transformative experiences with an alchemical self-pleasure audio guide and an eye-opening ketamine session that allowed me to confront and embrace sub-personalities of unworthiness, leading to a profound shift in my perception of self.

Discover how a shamanic journey into the shadow self revealed a version of me that lacked structure, allowing me to nurture and rebuild my inherent strength and truth. This episode invites you to reflect on your own narrative of self-worth, as I share how I metaphorically removed the "un" from "unworthy," leaving behind pure worthiness. Engage with these stories of self-discovery and embrace the ongoing journey toward accepting one's innate value. It’s a heartfelt invitation to listen, reflect, and perhaps find a piece of your own story in the process.


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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Hey, lovey, it's day 15 of the Orgasmic Alchemy Portal to the Erotic Evolution Podcast, so tell me what has your experience been like thus far. Did you get the free alchemical self-pleasure audio guide in the link below? I hope so, so you can play along, and if you have questions coming up about your experience, about the whole thing in general, please leave me a comment or send me a DM on Instagram. So I'm feeling the shift out of the healing of self-judgment at least that big layer and into healing self-worth incredibly esoteric and like I can't. I don't feel like there's something to grasp onto at the moment to heal this in the way that I would like it to be healed. And it occurred to me I have this book called I think it's called worthy or it's called worth or something, and it's about money, as as I, you know, trying to read all the books about money, um and I. It popped back into my head when I was made aware that that is the healing journey that I'm on in this segment here and maybe on for the rest of my life, I don't know um, because I imagine we could all feel more and more and more and more worthy all the time. So, yeah, I realized that I had this book. That seems amazing, and I did not get very far into it, probably because it was so triggering Um, because it was so triggering um, that I was just like not right now, come back to it later. So I'll be coming back to it very soon. I think it's by Nancy Levin. If you want to get in on that, um, I'm recommending it. I've read like a chapter, um, but if it's, if it's super good, I will let you know.

Speaker 1: 2:25

Uh, yeah, so I I was doing my little acoptic record reading for myself and asking what is keeping me from, um, manifesting the success and, um, you know, financial success that I desire, and my guide said that I don't believe that I am worthy of the work that I desire to do. So I'm like, okay, cool, now what? Like I don't know. It usually seems sandwiched more linear to me when I know what the thing to heal is, but this is like like everything, like your self-worth is your everything, um, and so I did. I did another little reading today and and it's you know, it's about releasing the beliefs that what I am is not enough. So, um, looking forward to that and however that happens, and that is people preparing for new year's eve, um, preparing their, their firework readiness, something like that, um, yeah, so after I, I got the first segment of information of that's what needs to heal for me to manifest what I desire in my career.

Speaker 1: 4:06

Then I went and did ketamine with a friend and it's a beautiful substance. It was it's very graceful and pleasurable healing in my opinion. And so in it you know, I'm laying there with my headphones on and my beautiful music and I invited forward the pieces within me, the sub-personalities that are the embodiments of unworthiness. And so I kind of just like open a door and was like everybody, come on out to play, we're going to have a dance party here, and um, so a lot of them just kind of like worked themselves out, I guess, because after a little while it was three main ones, these three sort of like cartoonish character looking things, and um, I was guided to take off their hats, um, which was the un of the worthy on. So I took the un off the worthy so they could just be left in their, in their truth, and their worthiness just be left in their, in their truth and their worthiness. And um, it felt really good. And then, um, I came home and and I I felt really guided to do another shamanic journey into my um, into my underworld, connecting with my shadow pieces similarly, and um. So I opened the door to this unworthy piece of me and she looked just like me, except she had no bones, she was just jelly. And so I picked her up and loved her and brought her to my healing temple and just held space for her so that she could, of her own accord, grow her bones back and strengthen her muscles and all the healing that she needed to come back to her truth and her inherent worthiness.

Speaker 1: 6:28

And I am, you know, I think that this sort of work is incredibly powerful and many years ago when I, when spirit was like all of this hideous sensations that you're feeling all day, every day, that's shame I had no idea. I just was like I'm an anxious person, I have terrible anxiety, because that is the word everyone uses. So I thought that's what it was, because no one had ever explained to me what shame felt like and so I didn't know that. You know, every second, like the second, I woke up, every day, I was just engulfed in like incapacitating shame for so much of my life. And when the spirit was like that feeling is shame. I was like, oh, feeling ashamed. I was like, oh, okay, thank you, now that I know what it is, I can heal this. And I did.

Speaker 1: 7:40

I, I like, did a ton of healing work, just like this, um, and I ended up being violently ill for two weeks after that where I just puked up shame, just, it was so, um, it was so much getting well, it was so hideously uncomfortable. But after those two weeks I was like, oh my God, I feel amazing, like this is what it feels like to be relaxed. Wow, I never felt relaxed in my whole life. And after those two weeks of purging, physically, purging the shame out of my body, out of my cells, um, I was just a whole new person.

Speaker 1: 8:30

Um so that is what I'm intending with this. And I was actually finding myself right before I knew that self-worth was the next thing happening, um, when I was just like God, helped me heal my digestion, like help me heal whatever I'm holding in here that is causing me all this distress, and, um, I was leaving. I was leaving my friend's house she's a couple hours away and I started vomiting in in my mouth just like completely unexpectedly. Um, so that was a interesting night. I'm like, okay, straight to bed, I'm going to be as propped up as I possibly can, um, but so back to back to self-worth. Um, yeah, so that is, that is the process.

Speaker 1: 9:30

That's where I'm at to please be shown my true self-worth, show me my true self-worth, because I know that my true self-worth and your true self-worth is infinite and just inherently glorious. And if we can tune in, if we can know and feel what that is, we can live our lives completely differently and receive completely differently, because we're worthy of receiving whatever it is that we desire to receive. So I think I'll stop there and I'm sending you tons of love and if you are looking to alchemize your personal self work with some tantric energy and NLP and somatic, shamanic healing work. Talk to me, let's work together. Let's get you on your path of inherent, abundant self-worth and see what a beautiful changes that creates in your life and your love life and your sex life. So there's a link below. You can book in to work with me or we can have a little chat first about it if you want to. So I will see you tomorrow.

Speaker 2: 11:13

Lots of love. Thanks for listening to this episode of the good, the bad and the sexy. I hope that it served you in some way and, if it did, please reach out to me on Instagram at the good, the bad and the sexy and tell me about it. Also, is there someone in your life who needs to get in on this conversation? I would love it if you would share the show with them. It's so much more fun to talk through these things together. Remember to get your free follow along. Orgasmic alchemy self pleasure audio guide in the show notes below. I look forward to connecting with you again next time. Ciao for now.