Finding Love Through Conscious Change: A Journey of Letting Go and Embracing Authenticity

What if the key to finding love is as simple as buying a love seat? Join me, Elizabeth Angelica, as I share my personal journey of transforming my life through conscious change, energy medicine, and spiritual magic. I open up about the amusing yet profound decision to purchase a love seat in the quest for romance and the deep insights gained about divine timing. This episode promises a candid exploration of love, loneliness, and the complex dance between our inner desires and external realities.

From battling eight months of depression to navigating the guilt of not recording an episode sooner, I reveal the emotional rollercoaster that led to a pivotal moment of letting go. Hear about the impactful advice from a friend that pushed me to release the obsession with perfectionism and embrace authenticity. Together, we explore how relinquishing guilt and embracing genuine desires can pave the way for profound personal growth. This isn't just a podcast episode—it's an invitation to embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowered transformation.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi, this is Elizabeth Angelica, and you're listening to the good, the bad and the sexy, where I'm going to be spilling all the intimate aspects on my journey of healing love, addiction, codependency and scarcity, and how I'm manifesting new romantic partnership and creating sovereign abundance, all this through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation, energy, medicine, non-dual spiritual magic and my orgasmic alchemy practices. All right, here we go, hello, lovey. So here we are, finally back for season two with a new name and a new set, which you can see if you're listening on youtube. But I am now coming to you from my love seat, which I will tell you before we get into what we're actually going to be talking about on this season. I bought this love seat because I was pretty sure that it was my lack, was pretty sure that it was my lack of group seating, my lack of having a sofa that was hindering my romantic relationships, my curvation of having one at all. I had two chairs here, one was comfy, one was pretty and I was sitting with, with someone this shag buddy I had, briefly and I was like I can't cuddle this person, like we can touch feet on the hassock, but that's, that wasn't what I needed in that moment and, uh, so I?

Speaker 1: 1:44

I was reading something and it was talking about how, you know, you have to make this space for your romantic partner. You know, set another place at the dinner table and sleep on one side of the bed and keep your car seat, passenger seats open so that there is space for them to come into your life. Now, with that one, I will say I probably won't be the one driving in partnership just because that seems to be the way it goes in my relationships. But you know, I do want my relationships to my future relationship, to be different than all of my previous ones. So maybe I'll be, I'll be in that um position of what's, what do I want to say? I was going to say influence position, of, uh, taking the directive, being the one in the, in the leadership position, although I'd really rather have my man drive me around, but that's not what we're talking about. So I read all that stuff and I was like, yeah, I don't have anywhere to cuddle with my beloved. If I had a sofa, then the universe would be like, oh, look at that, elizabeth really does want a romantic relationship. Well, here you go, honey, here's your man. And admittedly, it hasn't worked quite as quickly as I was hoping. There might be, uh, another thing or two in the way, or, you know, divine timing, divine timing, as seems to be always in the works, divine timing. So anyway, here I am, on the love seat here with you After about eight months.

Speaker 1: 3:40

I looked at my YouTube and the last blog I did was eight months ago, and in that time I have been, I have been through a deep depression and other ideas about what I'm gonna do with my business and my life, and I talked so much about doing this podcast it had. I do have the tendency to obsess about things. I may have been obsessing about it, but I wasn't in a place where I could actually do it, so I was just talking about it and I was making new covers and trying to figure out what I really wanted the title to be, the title of the whole show, and talking about it so much. I had a girlfriend who was like you know, if you don't really want to do it, just don't do it, because if you really wanted to do it, you would have done it already. And so I I let it go for a few months. I was like my god, I'm, I'm driving my people crazy talking about this, driving myself crazy, and after my friend said that to me, I realized that I was just guilting myself every single day, just piling on tremendous amounts of guilt and shame, that I hadn't recorded an episode that day, that I wasn't actually doing.

Speaker 1: 5:14

This thing that, honestly, I feel like, is what I'm here to do is a big, big part of my life purpose and, however my life leads, it's going to be, this is going to be a launching point of of all the, all the ways that I want to speak and write and and teach and transmit what are, transmit what is hopefully entertaining and enlightening information and support for all of us to evolve through pleasure. So, now that I've said that, that's the point, I am here so that we can evolve together and we can do it pleasurably I don't know about you, but I am, I'm done with suffering. Let there be grace and ease and joy, and I know that we aren't all, especially we aren't all coming from that place of ease and joy and grace and pleasure. That life has not been working that way and I believe that it is possible. I really truly do, but I believe that we have to take steps in that direction. We can't suddenly be living a life of ease and joy and abundance. We have to learn a new way of being. We have to reprogram our belief systems and reparent our inner children, program our belief systems and repairs our inner children and titrate our nervous systems to hold the capacity for pleasure and joy and abundance.

Speaker 1: 7:12

And so how I am doing that and how I was doing that in season one, was through self-pleasure practices, shamanic self-pleasure practices, shamanic self-pleasure practices, where what I started doing again today, finally, which I think really gave me the impetus, the energy to get on this recording and really truly this practice and and really truly this practice. Not only is it healing, but it informs, informs my life. It is where the intuition and the inspiration and the energy and the, the relaxation comes into my being so that I can do and receive and create. So what do I mean by that? Um, the first time I did a 28 day, uh, what I called orgasmic alchemy practice in the first season. And that's what the practice is orgasmic alchemy, alchemizing things in our bodies, our minds, our energy fields through orgasmic sensation, through pleasure.

Speaker 1: 8:39

Now, it doesn't have to be an actual orgasm. If it is Now, it doesn't have to be an actual orgasm. If it is, cheers, congratulations, have as many as you can, but you might be building towards that as well. So the practice is, and you can get your free audio guide download somewhere in the information about this episode so you can follow along, play along, and so the practice is really setting intention and letting the energy move through you. Now there there's a structure in the audio, um, but since I've been doing this so long, it's basically me calling in my soul and my guides and my angels and who you know what divine energies and beings I want this energy to support me in. And so, you know, gently turning my body on and then, with the, with the intention, comes the understanding of what is shifting and the knowingness of what is shifting, and it probably is like I find sexual experiences to be incredibly presencing, if that's a word, bringing yourself into presence, into the present moment, into a state of flow and meditation to me it it's the best meditation.

Speaker 1: 10:25

So in this particular practice, while we're in this state, we are learning to hold what is happening in our lives, the thing that we want to alchemize, transform, change, make something totally new in our lives, and the pleasure which holds the energy of the new creation, of the perfectly healed experience in your, in your body, in your mind, in your life, in your energy field. What have you? And holding both of these at the same time really does allow your capacity for life to be what it is. It allows you to allow life to be what it is and so you can hold the, the unwanted and you can hold the wanted, at the same of divine energy, of sexual energy, of aliveness. Energy will transform, transmute, alchemize all that you are desiring to leave behind.

Speaker 1: 12:01

And so when I did this the first time, I think is what I was going to say the first time I did this I was in a state of extreme panic, anxiety, depression, and I knew that if I was going to change anything in my life, if I was going to allow any good into my life, I needed to be relaxed. Because if we are so tense, where our bodies are frozen, there's no porousness to allow the goodness in, there's no softness to receive it into your body, into your being. So I was like, okay, how do I relax? What actually relaxes me? Like, have I ever been relaxed? Oh, yes, orgasms make me relaxed.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So, since I was in such a state of distress I decided I was gonna do 28 days in a row and at that point I called it the 28 day orgasm diet um, because it was the, the orgasmic energy that was going to nourish my being, and it really did shift so much for me. I came into a much better place in my mental health. I manifested a lover, I figured out what I was going to do. I was going to leave that place and move across the country, and it allowed a lot of money to come into my life as well, not necessarily right at that moment, but in the grand scheme. So, since I had such a beautiful experience that time, such a life-changing experience, I decided I was going to do it again, and that was season one, and it truly allowed me to evolve so many things.

Speaker 1: 14:21

I was moving through stuff so quickly in season one and I was so happy that people were remarking, remarking on it. They were like you look so much better and, um, you know I, I had this, this joy and this aliveness and this relaxed receptivity and um, and actually I'm I'm doing the show as my basically my online diary here, because Anais Nin came to me in a breathwork and told me that my writing was like her writing, that I am here to share my story, like like she was sharing her life and her diaries, of which is something. Some enormous amount of her diaries have been published into books, and since I don't think I actually want to publish my journal, um, I'm going to do like this and we'll see what writing comes from this, if it's gonna be transcribed into something or not. Like I said, this is the, the launching point I imagined to so much in my life and I hope that it will be for you too, and I hope that you get your free Download and play along. You can do One day a week, one day or night, one day a month, whatever serves you and your life and your body. You know best and Take it from me. If you are, you know best and take it from me. If you are putting it off as far away as you can, like I have been with this show, then it's probably because you really really need to do it same thing with all of the. You know what are our gifts in our life. Your greatest fear is your greatest gift, and I I have been thinking about that again recently, about my fears of public speaking and how I would never, ever, ever speak in a group unless I was called on and I would make it as short as possible, and I would also really be irritated by people that would take up a lot of space and talk a lot.

Speaker 1: 16:58

And I recognized later that that was because I wanted to be taking up that space. I wanted to be the one speaking, I wanted to be the center of attention and I wanted what I was saying to support people in some way or just entertain people. Honestly. Actually, both I want both. Please be enlightened and entertained by what I have to say. Please be enlightened and entertained by what I have to say. I am intending for this show to be humorous. I think that doing it will allow me to be more in the flow of my own lighthearted humor.

Speaker 1: 17:43

And yeah, so I wasn't. I was back in my fear of public speaking. I was feeling like why do this show? I have nothing interesting to say. I do not feel interesting right now. What on earth would I talk about? You know, I'm not dating and I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that, and so that was stopping me. And my spirit team told me the other day how could you have anything to talk about if you're not talking? Like, what is going to come out, if you don't open your mouth and let something come out? And let something come out. So planning to be more, and more and more in the flow and, you know, giving myself permission to make a shitty show right by by this time next year. By this time next year, it'll be different.

Speaker 1: 18:53

And you know, also reminding myself and being reminded by my spirit team that this is about evolution. This whole show is about evolution my evolving, us evolving together, the show evolving the show evolving into new and bigger and better things. And all of those fears that I was holding, like if the cover isn't right and the name isn't right and I don't know exactly what the structure of this is and I don't know exactly what I'm gonna say, so I can't say it, letting those fears go by the wayside and letting the evolution of the show take over, letting this have its own life and relationship with you. And I guess I'm just going to go on my weary way for the rest of the day and celebrate that I started and it is my intention to be back here with you, I'm thinking, five days a week. Let it be like a for real journal, daily journal, and I'm going to do my best and I'm sending you so much love.

Speaker 1: 20:14

Thanks for listening to this episode of the good, the bad and the sexy. I hope that it served you in some way and, if it did, please reach out to me on Instagram at the good, the bad and the sexy, and tell me about it. Also, is there someone in your life who needs to get in on this conversation? I would love it if you would share the show with them. It's so much more fun to talk through these things together. Remember to get your free follow along. Orgasmic alchemy self pleasure audio guide in the show notes below. I look forward to connecting with you again next time. Ciao for now.