The Good, The Bad, And The Sexy
Hi! I'm Elizabeth Angelica and this is where I’m going to be spilling all my tea about the intimate aspects of my journey of healing love addiction, codependency and scarcity. And how I’m manifesting new romantic partnership, and creating sovereign abundance in my purpose and passion.
All through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation, energy medicine, non dual spiritual magick. And... my orgasmic alchemy practices.
The show is full of connection, teachings and transmissions so that we can evolve together.
I would love to have you join me on this orgasmic alchemical journey!
You can get your free guide, an Orgasmic Alchemy Self Pleasure follow along audio >>> https://www.ElizabethAngelica.com/28doa
Find out more about working with me here >>> https://www.ElizabethAngelica.com
The Good, The Bad, And The Sexy
Navigating Love, Body Image, and Personal Growth
Do you ever find yourself entranced by unconventional relationships or caught in the modern dating whirlwind? Join me, Elizabeth Angelica, as I recount a spirited Halloween night where I met two charming men in military flight suits, one a genuine aviator. Through this encounter, I explore the allure of chemistry and the often stark reality of being categorized as just a 'fun' partner rather than someone for the long haul. With raw honesty and personal anecdotes, I discuss the importance of recognizing these dynamics early on, enabling us to swiftly move past the 'no's and pursue genuine, fulfilling connections.
Reflecting beyond romantic encounters, this episode also delves into the journey of healing body image and nurturing self-love. By revisiting childhood memories and societal pressures, I reveal how these experiences have shaped our self-perception. From a poignant moment observing my mother's body image struggles, learn how to dissolve fears tied to physical perfection and embrace authenticity. Through visualization and introspection, I invite you to rewrite inherited narratives, nurture your inner child with love, and pave the way for a balanced, fulfilling future. Let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery and growth together.
Get your FREE Orgasmic Alchemy Audio Guide: http://www.elizabethangelica.com/28doa
Find out more and work with me: www.ElizabethAngelica.com
Join me in a group alchemy event: www.ElizabethAngelica.com/events
Message Me On Instagram @TheGoodTheBadAndTheSexy
Hi, this is Elizabeth Angelica, and you're listening to the good, the bad and the sexy where I'm going to be spilling all the intimate aspects on my journey of healing love, addiction, codependency and scarcity, and how I'm manifesting new romantic partnership and creating sovereign abundance. All this through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation energy medicine. Through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation, energy medicine, non-dual spiritual magic and my orgasmic alchemy practices. All right, here we go. Hello, darling, good to see you. Okay, where are we at? I find that I start so many public speaking experiences with saying I'm so curious what I'm going to say. So I'm so curious what I'm going to say, I just need to settle down in my body, see what she has to say.
Speaker 1:I went to a Halloween party last night and there was two guys in military flight suit uniforms. My father was a military helicopter pilot, so it sparked my attention and there was two of them and I have a maybe I should have two husbands sort of fantasy. So I was attracted to them, which I explained to a friend and she was like, okay, I'm not going to kink, shame you. I think dating someone who turned out to be an actual retired military aviator might be just a little too on the nose, but we do marry the dysfunctions of our parents the dysfunctions of our parents. So anyway, I was like, oh, and standing near them, hoping to make eye contact. But I went outside with my friend and sat on the deck and then the two of them came and sat down right next to me. So I chatted with them for a little while and then we went on about our ways and then ran into each other again and there was a cuddle room upstairs there was actually mats downstairs and a room upstairs that turned out just was a big bad, with some additional cushions on the floor, but one of them, who we will call aviator, who was the one who was an actual aviator and not the one who just found one at the Goodwill the outfit, um. So we went upstairs and cuddled and turned into making out and ended up making out next to some friends of mine, which I haven't made out next to other people probably since high school. But as a leader said, it's Austin. These are just the things that happen in Austin, I suppose. I suppose they happen in other places in the world too, but that's where we are. And how lovely time went home.
Speaker 1:He texts me today and he said he had a lovely time and we should do it again. And so I responded with some general banter and asked if he would like to go ziplining with me, to which he responded after he had told me last night that he was in this yes, man, phase of his life just say yes to everything, he said. Well, we'll see where the wind blows us winky face. So I responded that felt like a pretty stiff breeze to me. But okay, no, zip lining. Have I found myself in a only sex part of your brain? Like, am I, am I now only only sex material in your brain? And so basically said he didn't feel the magical spark in the first few minutes that tells him that I am partner potential.
Speaker 1:My first thought was I'm hungry. I'm not hungry. I mean, I am fasting today. So there was a possibility for that, but it wasn't before noon. Like when is the first time I ever eat on any given day anyway? I am fasting today. So there was a possibility for that, but it wasn't before noon. Like, one of them is the first time I ever eat on any given day anyway. So I felt rejected and I interpreted that in some way as hunger or felt like, oh, if I feel hungry then I'll eat, and then, if I'm eating, I won't feel rejected. Good to note. Good to note. So I will find someone else who enjoys flying as much as I do, who's not an actual pilot, to go ziplining or fly solo.
Speaker 1:It seems as though I'm supposed to make this decision. If we are friends or fuck buddies, like now, because there's no crossover in his interpretation of relationships, I could use a fuck buddy. I think that might be good for me. Would it be better than trying to date his friend? But the right person comes at the right time, and if his friend was meant to be the one, then he would have been the one facing me the next time we met at the party, I suppose. So it is what it is, and interesting that I'm like yeah, he's not the person.
Speaker 1:But when he told me I wasn't the person I'm not, I guess I'm just not used to that. I feel like I should be, be like the desire of every man does. Doesn't everyone feel that way? Is that, is that not normal? Or is that normal? Do you feel that way? And then, luckily, I clicked on a story on YouTube and it was Matthew Hussey and he said when you're trying to find your person saying no quicker like moving through the no's quicker is a good thing, can you know?
Speaker 1:In the first few minutes I have this fantasy that I will. But those first few minute magical sparks that lead to a year of infatuation, and those relationships carry those karmic soulmates, carry that potential for incredible joy, growth and I do want to evolve and grow with my partner in relationship. But I also want something that's more stable and more grounded and more lasting than I've had in those relationships, something that's not going to burn us out or burn off right, I want the candle that burns for a long time, not the firecracker that's explodes and is gone and might maim you. So he's not the guy and that's okay, I don't have to. I it's just that like, oh, you meet someone and there's some sort of chemistry and you're like you're, you know this part of your head's like maybe maybe I'll have someone to go out on dates with, maybe I'll have someone to like, help me fix that thing in the house. But here I am, my own husband and my own mother and my own father.
Speaker 1:Okay, moving on, it is finally a temperature here where I could go outside and get a tan. It's November 2nd, I think today is Dia de los Muertos. I should probably talk to some dead people this evening. Ask my ancestors for even more support, for even more support. I feel like I do a lot of ancestral healing that ripples out into their experiences in one way or another. It would be a good balance. Okay temperature, so I haven't been going outside because it's been a bajillion degrees and sunny and I took such a big break off from doing this.
Speaker 1:And in that time I was struggling with my mental health and I decided that I was going to go get on some medicine. And so I went to the doctor, I got the prescription and she had me do a some blood work. And when I went back for the results of the blood work, I saw in my journal the other day because I was like didn't I didn't? I take notes when I was talking to her. You remember like what? Maybe a third of any given conversation. So I was, I I guess I had intended to find those about thinking just through thinking of them.
Speaker 1:And then I was flipping through my journal and I found it, and I found that my vitamin D level was, I think, at 28, when it should have been at 730. I didn't need necessarily, I didn't need Wellbutbutrin. I did need a massive amount of vitamin d supplementation and perhaps to move somewhere where I can go outside all year long. I like that idea, but you know, the first night it drops down to 70 here and I have to put a sweatshirt on because it's freezing. So I'm acclimated to a degree. So vitamin D and more vitamin D, please, which brings me back to the fuck buddy issue. That sort of vitamin D is also super, super good for my mood, and he says it's harder to get out of a relationship than it is to get into one. I don't know. I think I'm pretty good at leaving people. I am especially practiced at ending relationships. That's what we were talking about.
Speaker 1:So fasting, but not hungry, maybe a little hungry. If you watched season one, you heard me talk about the intense digestive pain I was in and how I went carnivore, probably, and so it was carnivore for a while, and then I started bringing vegetables and fruits back into my diet and discovered that I have a nightshade intolerance, which is like all I was eating all the time, all the good things tomatoes, potatoes, bell peppers, curries. I thought I was eating so healthy and everything I was eating was killing me. It's very hard not to eat nightshades when you leave the house. They're in everything. Plus, I can't eat onions either, which is definitely in everything.
Speaker 1:So change my diet, feeling a million times better, but not letting the inflammation and the extra weight go. Because after I broke up with blondie like a year ago, maybe more, more than a year ago I gained like 30 pounds, which I think was a protection mechanism, like if I am heavier, I won't feel sexy in my body and then I won't have to date someone else and break up with someone else. So instead of spending too much money on a drug that could potentially have effects that I don't desire, because I thought about it for a minute, I was like maybe I should just get on this Ozempic stuff. If Mindy Kaling can look like that now, it might be worth it. But it was so hard to get myself to say yes to even well, butrin, which is also an ADHD medication, which made it a little bit easier. Let's help my brain out a little bit. So I was like, okay, there is an answer to this. What am I going to do? And, like.
Speaker 1:In high school, I heard that a friend's sister was fasting one day a week, I think it was, and I always thought I should do that. That sounds like a really good idea and I did A little bit, trying to fast on Sundays. And it's easy to fast when you're out of the house and you're with people, I find. But coming home in the evening by myself, I was like, what else am I going to do? Right, it's such a good distraction. It's something to do when you don't want to do what it is you actually need to do.
Speaker 1:I was just standing in the kitchen before starting this because this made me feel nervous and I was like I could eat and I was like, no, I'm not eating today. I was like, well, what else could I do? What else is there to do? Um, I found a video talking about fasting. I read the fat fast like a girl book, and so I think I intentionally went on that woman's YouTube and or maybe the algorithm read my brain and brought it to me, because that happens. Um, me and AI were like this this she had a video on alternate day fasting and there was a study with people who did alternate day fasting for three months and they lost something like 13 pounds.
Speaker 1:Now when I had covid, I did not eat for 10 days and I lost 10 pounds. I don't think I can fast for 10 days water fast it was a gatorade fast back then, but then I started eating again and it came right back and I started alternate day fasting last Sunday. It's been a week. This is my fourth day, third day, fourth day of not eating and I think this is a really good system for me. I'm kind of an all or nothing person. I like the idea of intermittent fasting, but it's harder to maintain. It's harder for me to not eat at night, so I'm giving this a whirl.
Speaker 1:I do not have a scale in my house because it's small and also because I never want to know what I weigh. That's not helpful information. I want to see and feel myself the way that I desire and in a week I feel better in my abdomen, I feel less inflammation, I feel more, more like myself, because there was this feeling of being not myself at a heavier weight. It's partly physically not myself, there's just. You might know what I mean. I don't, I can't even think of words for it.
Speaker 1:I don't feel the strength and the groundedness and the elegance and the grace that I know myself as, and there's also a mental component I seem to have a belief system about. I seem to have a belief system about like I grew up in the 90s when the models were like skeletons and that is what was programmed as pretty in my mind. That and the Disney princesses and I definitely have some twisted perceptions of beauty and also, I think, of worth and respectability and all those things kind of wrapped up in that me feel like at this excessiveness means that I can't do all these other things in my life, like I can't be successful or respected or honored in all kinds of different ways. And the protection but then Aviator last night was was like I love big boobs and I was like, oh, they're even bigger than I thought when they're hanging down in your face. I do like that too. If I could maintain more breast tissue and have skinnier waist and arms, I'd be okay with that. But I don't know if you get to pick.
Speaker 1:I had a healer once who said that you could do weight loss, energetic practices where you could see you roll the fat through your body like a tube of toothpaste and roll it all up and out a tube of toothpaste and roll it all up and out, so I could. I guess I could try that. And you know, just avoid the important parts. Keep the curvy ass and the big tits. This is where I all. Okay. What else can I tell you before I go? How you know, maybe, maybe it's a good idea to.
Speaker 1:Together, we can release some body image issues. So let's, let's take a deep breath and feel into the place in your body that's holding the most sensation when we think of body image issues. And instantly I have a memory. I was feeling into my low belly and I had this memory of my mother berating herself in the mirror when I was a child. We're going to gather up these memories that we received as a child that made us believe that we should hate our bodies if they are not, I was gonna say, stick thin. But if they are not the society ideal of a beautiful body. So feel yourself. Deal of a beautiful body. So feel yourself.
Speaker 1:Tuning in with that, with where this came from, where you started believing that your body was not perfect and that you would not be loved if your body wasn't perfect, because I think I did associate with what was always going on in my parents marriage. I think I interpreted, at least, that she felt like her body wasn't perfect and therefore she wasn't lovable in the relationship. She couldn't receive the desire which kind of felt like love. Right, if someone is desiring you, you feel loved because you feel their attention, because attention is the currency of love, which sometimes I have to remind myself because my cats don't actually say I love you, but they are all up on me, they are paying attention. So, whatever that memory is for you, if a memory comes, if a feeling comes, if nothing comes, that's okay. We're gonna intend that all that trauma and drama and abuse from that point and from any other that has been created from that source experience, be resolved and dissolved right now.
Speaker 1:The lessons that you were meant to receive in that, leaving the wisdom and releasing everything else that is not serving you in your relationship, in your life, in your relationship to your body, in your relationship to the world, how your body relates to the world and to all the people in it, in your life, or the people you desire to bring into your life, right, like my desire to have a romantic partner, and yet I am creating distance. So that's dissolving. And what might you if you feel yourself creating this distance of excess bodily tissue? And you might have the opposite issue, which we probably won't get into today but might pop into your awareness just as well. It's so similar. What are you afraid might happen if you are at your ideal weight? I'm afraid that I will fall. It's fall in love, but it's also it's more. Let myself become entangled in an unhealthy relationship.
Speaker 1:I noticed myself noticing women having wedding rings on in yoga class the other day. You noticing the difference between us, finding myself wondering what does she have that I don't have, sometimes thinking, can I say it? I'm prettier than her. Why is she married and I'm not married? Married as if pretty could make you happy and make everything in life perfect, which I think I might believe right. If I was thinner, I would have this relationship. If I was prettier, I'd be more successful. If I blah, blah, blah, I said because I don't have another example at the moment.
Speaker 1:So, as any of those feelings come up within you, as they're coming up within me the feeling of grief and injustice and anger and resentment at life, for making me believe that this is the way the world works, that there is something inherently wrong with me that is keeping this from happening, and it must be, must be this we're going to let it all go, see it all just flying out of your body like birds out of my belly, releasing it, letting it go, giving it up to the white light of the Holy Spirit to be transmuted, and letting more and more and more of our authentic selves expand into those places. Letting more and more of our truth expand into these places, into these places, releasing the fear of entanglement, the fear of commitment, the fear of giving my life up to someone else can we say codependent? That's the thing I am afraid of finding myself in a codependent relationship again, finding that I have not created what I need and desire to create because I found someone else to pay my bills, someone else to take care of, so I can ignore my own stuff, because it's scary to step into the greater version of myself. But wouldn't it be so much nicer to be curious, curiouser and curiouser? I'm actually thinking about getting a tattoo that says as a healer, as an entrepreneur, as a financially sovereign being. I think I can tell you what will happen, and it's actually not scary, it's actually beautiful, but I suppose some part of me still doesn't believe that success and personal wealth and a balanced relationship is survivable.
Speaker 1:So I will continue to imagine myself growing up in homes. That's the thing I'm going to grow up embodying my inner child, because I think that is such a key thing. When we're doing inner children work, we're not holding and comforting our inner child. We're being the inner child. We're being the baby, the three-year-old who is being comforted by you, so seeing and feeling yourself being small and being held by an imaginary family, or being held by yourself and comforted and loved and given what you need and what you didn't get you didn't get. So I'm going to grow up in homes where my mother had body confidence and relationship confidence and career confidence, career success, and balanced her life with, and balanced her life with, self-care. And I think self-care in this case is career care. It is being devoted to one's own personal path, devoted. So we're gonna let that as a transmission soak in and some homework, if you're willing to take three, five, ten minutes after this and imagine yourself growing up in a household where, where your primary caregiver was an example of what you desire to create now, so you can see that that has happened. That is a thing that is survivable. That is who. From that version of reality, you can move forward so much easier into who it is you truly are, who it is you're intending to be.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm going to stop. I'm sending you so much love and I will see you next time. Thanks for listening to this episode of the good, the Bad and the Sexy. I hope that it served you in some way and, if it did, please reach out to me on Instagram at thegoodthebadandthesexy, and tell me about it. Also, is there someone in your life who needs to get in on this conversation? I would love it if you would share the show with them. It's so much more fun to talk through these things together. Remember to get your free follow along. Orgasmicmic Alchemy Self-Pleasure Audio Guide in the show notes below. I look forward to connecting with you again next time. Ciao, for now, you.