Exploring Higher Love Frequencies: Navigating Emotional Intimacy and Creative Partnerships

This episode explores Elizabeth's whimsical and poignant journey through love, connection, and self-discovery, revealing how personal evolution impacts romantic relationships. The discussion covers themes of vulnerability, the importance of emotional intimacy, and the significance of meaningful friendships, all while inviting listeners to embrace their unique journeys toward love. 
• Exploring the balance between physical intimacy and emotional connection 
• Reconnecting with old friendships as a path to healing 
• Emphasizing self-worth and authenticity in the face of romantic desires 
• Shifting the narrative around personal and professional success 
• The power of community and shared experiences for emotional well-being 
• Encouraging openness to beauty and abundance in daily life 
• Reflecting on past relationships to gain clarity for the future 

Chapters

• 0:02 Manifesting Love, Healing, and Self-Worth
• 13:22 Navigating Friendship and Podcast Creation
• 24:21 Embracing Free Will and Self-Discovery
• 30:42 Navigating Loneliness and Emotional Healing
• 36:22 Tuning Into Higher Love Frequency

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hi, this is Elizabeth Angelica, and you're listening to the good, the bad and the sexy where I'm going to be spilling all the intimate aspects on my journey of healing love, addiction, codependency and scarcity, and how I'm manifesting new romantic partnership and creating sovereign abundance. All this through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation, energy medicine. Through the wild and wonderful lens of conscious transformation, energy medicine, non-dual spiritual magic and my orgasmic alchemy practices. All right, here we go. Here we are again. All right, I forgot to mention last week about what happened with the aviator guy. Aviator guy I decided that I did not have enough daddy issues to find myself in any sort of extended sexual or romantic exchange with a military aviator.

Speaker 1: 1:01

I'm good. Terrier aviar I'm, I'm good. I did tell him that. I thought that we should call our time together a lovely one-time experience and then my fuck buddy from a little while ago messaged me did I want to smash? Do I want to be smashed? I get that that's just slang, but with that level of sexual intensity and aggression, I knew that he actually meant that. And what I really need is I need a cuddle call. I need someone to call me and be like hey, want to cuddle, yes, yes, I do. I want to cuddle so much. Come over and cuddle me, baby.

Speaker 1: 2:08

Now fortune did come and sit on my chest earlier, so I did. You know, I have beings to co-regulate with and there's a heartbeat and the purr is a bonus. But I did feel like I was suffocating and it's different when you touch a human being. So I might be hugging trees soon. I might bring a blanket outside and hug mom earth. I did before. I probably told you this already, but I was projecting my inner masculine into this enormous evergreen tree I had in my front yard in a house not too long ago, and then I would. It was like the tree then embraced me, I could lean into it and the energy of my inner masculine in the tree wrapped itself around me and it was so nourishing and it felt like so much support. So I believe I will be doing that again, because I have not been able to get myself to go to contact improv, where I know I would be able to touch people.

Speaker 1: 3:31

I was talking to my friend, you know she was here when I got the wanna smash text message and she's like I think you should be having as much sex as you can with yourself. I was like I think so, having as much sex as you can with yourself. It's like I think so. Thing is, it's easy to find a fuck buddy and I know it's not sexy in the good, the bad and the sexy to tell you that I am not sleeping with anyone, that I'm turning people down. So it's easy to find a fuck buddy. It's not not okay. I shouldn't say that it's not easy to find someone that I actually want to have sex with. That is not helping my situation, but it is. You know, there's less of those people in the world and I don't find myself comfortable with being with someone who's with someone else.

Speaker 1: 4:38

My sort of monogamy is I'm going to be monogamous with you and you're going to be monogamous with me, and I prefer that from the start of a relationship. How else would I get to know you if I was shagging someone else? I know that I will get them all mixed up in my head and I wouldn't know what I said to who and what energy was coming from where. And I am more European in my dating style. Right, one person at a time. And if you have another person, smash guy surely does so.

Speaker 1: 5:34

I do have a crush on someone I'm sure I mentioned. His breath work is today. I'm going to be going very shortly. If you're watching this video, you can see that I have a fair amount of eye makeup on which I'm going to this intense, somatic breath work. And I'm a crier. I'm a laugher also, but sometimes I laugh and I cry at the same time. It scares people. But how sturdy is this waterproof mascara? Should I wash my face before I leave so when I hopefully chat with him again after the breath work, I don't have raccoon eyes or even little dots. I want to be as pristine as I am right now.

Speaker 1: 6:31

My friend came to one of the breathworks and she said that he is far too resourced not to have a girlfriend. Because I have not asked yet, I haven't connected with the amount of self-worth that I actually need to tell this person that I'm interested or even what I you know. What would be more realistic is to mention to him that, as he said, all things are relational and, that being so, do you know anyone, any high vibe, conscious, handsome, single men you might like to introduce me to? But it is this beautiful mirror within this relationship. Definitely it feels like a soulmate relationship in that I feel this way towards him, which makes me feel, recognize what I'm feeling inside myself, which is that I'm not where I want to be in my life, to be with someone that I I. It's like I think that he's better than me because his business is successful.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Now my full-time job has been healing and personal evolution. For like the last 15 years, I have worked very, very, very, very little, yet I've always had plenty of money Interesting, interesting, turned out. I might be totally and completely and abundantly supported all the time. What a mindset shift that this has been my job, and someone shared with me yesterday on the phone. She's like my. My astrology app just gave me a notification and it says now is the time, and I had just okay, we need to go. We need to go way back. So now is the time, I believe, to have a career that makes money instead of I mean, obviously, becoming more evolved and enlightened is a currency. Clearly, I've been able to manifest what I need in abundance, but I've been shaming myself and shitting myself. I should have a career in this very specific way in the world. I should be making this amount of money doing exactly this. My soul has clearly had other plans and they seem to be unfolding at light speed right now.

Speaker 1: 9:43

I have had a best girlfriend since college. We were majors in photography together and she's been off and on my best friends all that time. How many years is that? I don't know, I'm not good with years or time and she has broken up with me three times. I think about calling this woman. Almost every day I've been asking basically day. I've been asking basically for life to bring me someone to replace her, someone who I can have the same energy and exchanges with and communication with. And I have some incredible friendships, some wonderful, wonderful people in my life who I love and I'm so grateful for, but they're very different relationships. And I've also been asking for someone to come into my life to do a two-person podcast while I wait and or coinciding with that in the future, and although I've had a lot of people say they would like to do that with me, it didn't feel like the right energy or the right person to me. I wanted it to be her. Her name is Holly. We didn't speak for five years. She called me yesterday.

Speaker 1: 11:30

I I started off my day yesterday writing in my journal and saying to myself if I were open to the love and abundance that life has for me today. What would I notice If I were open, if I were available, if I were receptive to the abundance, to the love, to the grace that life has for me right now? What would I notice for me right now? What would I notice? And after five years, holly calls me. I was like I need a second to take a deep breath before I answer this. Do I answer this? Did she call me on purpose? Is this an accident? If I answer the call, is she even gonna know that she called me? Did something horrible happen? Because I was never, ever, ever to call her again? She had broken my heart too many times, not a safe person. And I thought you know when would I actually call her? Probably when one of my you know, when my mom dies. So I was like something awful may have happened. And all of this goes through my head in like five seconds. I take one deep breath. I answer the phone. She sounds fine. I'm like is everything okay? And yeah, she's like.

Speaker 1: 13:22

Well, your energy was just with me for the last two hours and it felt like it was finally time, since I think about calling you six times a day for the last five years, and so we talked for nearly an hour. Oh, my heart, oh, so, so, so, so many feels, so much energy, so much joy, so much fear that you know what's the worst that could happen my heart is completely destroyed again. I think the ending of our relationship, the last time, you know, might have been worse than the divorce and certainly wasn't good. Coinciding with it and the start of COVID and my living in a new place where I knew nobody, oh the trials and tribulations. So I said to her you know, there's something that I've been wanting us to do for years. I used to want us to have a blog. I wanted us to write letters back and forth to one another and post it as a blog, because I think we are so frequently hilarious together and you know blogs aren't what they used to be or something like that.

Speaker 1: 14:48

Uh, but the podcast, you know, I I want to just talk to a girlfriend for a living, talk to you, and and she said that she had had a vision of us sitting with microphones, talking. So we both were in sync After all. This time we're in sync, we're even both doing the same part-time job as caregivers for old men with dementia. I was like are you serious? Are you serious? That is too weird. So very quickly we decided we're going to do a podcast together. Now we have to figure out all the things and it it does seem like in what a little over 24 hours we have slipped right back into being best girlfriends, almost like it always was, except Except I'm fucking terrified that she's going to have a narcissistic, psychotic episode and kick me out of her life again. Don't tell her. I said that Because I'm going to say it. I might not phrase it exactly the same, but you know it's definitely something we need to talk about and and probably it's going to be trial and error with our new relational boundaries.

Speaker 1: 17:00

I didn't message her back for a little while and then then I was like I don't want her to think that I'm ignoring her on, you know, the very next day. And so I sent her this long message and she was like oh, you can just call me. And then we talked on the phone for way too long because I meant to be here with you and we're learning what the last few years was for each other and figuring out what this endeavor is going to be for us together. I know more, I know more tech, I have more experience. I'm trying to not let myself take everything over. It would be. You know, ideally a business like this is a 50-50. But I have the programs and I have the editing skills and knowledge, knowledge, and so it'll be so, so interesting to see how we negotiate this project and our relationship and you will get to hear all about it. If you're interested, we're calling it. She said. She said I wanted this for so long. So what, what wonderful things my life have for you today. Just notice what you notice.

Speaker 1: 18:43

The other day I started saying if I were to notice beauty in my life today, what would I see? And, honestly, I don't love this landscape, but it is beautiful. There are places I find more beauty when, when I'm outside right, like the sunset here is phenomenal. Get yourself out for sunset. It's so early these days.

Speaker 1: 19:22

So, yes, I posted the season one and I have friends who are like, oh, send me a link, I'm gonna listen. And I'm like I'm trying not to say, oh, you don't have to listen. Oh, oh, no, don't listen. I mean like they probably have heard a lot of my stories already. But why? Why would I tell people not to listen? I mean, I don't think I need to answer that right here and now, but it is something that needs to be looked at. Why is my sharing myself and my story feeling like it would burden or bore the people in my life? That's obviously not the desire or intention. Maybe it's. You know, it's like when your parents come to your dance recital and you're so nervous because your parents are there, like it could be a whole audience of strangers and, yeah, being in front of an audience of any kind is can be nerve-wracking, but when it's that person whose opinion you care about the most, it's yeah. So I think it's that I care, I care the most about their opinions and they're the ones who are going to actually give me an opinion, although I would love your comments, I would love for you to message me at the good, the bad and the sexy on Instagram, or I think they're somewhere in Spotify or yeah. So please, please, send me. Send me a note, a kind one.

Speaker 1: 21:31

I started studying Portuguese today. I went ahead and got a year-long subscription to Pimsleur. I will be a native speaker any moment now and I love how the first lesson teaches you how to say I do not speak Portuguese. Do you speak English? That is actually what we really really need to know in lesson one. I totally agree, and thinking about that, you know, I'm like what am I going to keep? What am I going to sell? What am I going to give away? What do I need to store here in a storage facility? Or I don't know if storing something at my mom's house after you know if I'm leaving the country is is just leaving it for someone else to deal with and is a really not cool thing to do. Am I coming back? Am I staying there forever? I think I mean, you know, I want someone to answer these questions for me, and I might even find a course on Americans moving to Europe and how to do it. I'm sure someone has excellent tips, because last time I moved to Europe well, first time I was born there and then later on, when I moved to Europe the army moved all our stuff. Everything got packed up, put in a semi-truck crate and put on a boat, and we got it.

Speaker 1: 23:23

However, many months later, I think the question that I need to be asking is if I were to be able to take all of my beautiful and important to me, things with me to Portugal. How would that happen? How can that happen, gracefully, how can I get somebody to pay for that for me? And so, yeah, I might get the class? So I want someone to tell me what to do, right, I also have this enormous part of my personality that says don't tell me what to do, you can't tell me what to do.

Speaker 1: 24:21

I will probably do the opposite of what you tell me to do. I have my own ideas and I don't give a fuck what your opinion is. Thank you, I mean, I listen, but I'm going to do what I'm going to do, just like we all are. I have my mind set and, god willing, my heart will reach up and like knock on the door of my brain and be like I have some really great advice for you. Yeah, all about being in the heart, but yeah, so no one's going to tell me what to do. It is my decision.

Speaker 1: 25:07

So I believe that we have free will and we have our soul, path and sort of our free will is that our soul has decided on these things and freely. Our soul freely decided that this is the path and so that is what we're doing and the earthly human free will is sort of you know, we're going on this path, this is this step in this person and this career and this place to live, and all of these things that are destiny, and we get to decide how we're going to live on the way. Are we going to be happy, are we going to be angry? Are we going to go kicking and screaming which I have been a little going along, more sad and angry than I would like and I had a lovely healing session with a phenomenal healer, elizabeth Cox, one of my best friends in the whole world yeah, the one who told me that I need to just have all the sex I can with myself. And in this session she was pulling all of this old traumatic, trauma, abuse, neglect, stuff from my body. And I feel so different now and, you know, filling me up with all this light and facilitating a conversation with me and my guides, because sometimes it's, you know, it's nice to have somebody, somebody do it for you, with you. It's greater validation sometimes and I'm like, yeah, that's what they told me in that session me and her and my enormous team of guides and angels were talking about and shifting me into a higher vibrational life and experience and you know, know everything in my body and and it's so fucking hard sometimes to think the way that actually supports you in your life so clearing, clearing, clearing. But I could feel the energy, clearing, clearing, but I could feel the energy, literally I could see I was stepping upstairs. So when, when I feel myself victimized by life, when I'm like, oh, I live next to this fucking free train, like the train is out to get me or something Like this whole situation wasn't of my choosing and my making and my manifesting, and filling me with this orangey honeyed love, filling me with this orangey honeyed love, and I feel like my mind has changed and it's changing so quickly this week, the way I'm seeing myself and seeing my life. You know that it's been my career to heal myself and now I have all this wisdom to share and the ability to do it.

Speaker 1: 29:15

I was the sort of person who would never, ever speak in public unless I was specifically called on, unless we were going around a circle, and I, you know it came to me I would talk and at the beginning I would, I would say things very concisely, which I think is a skill, but then I would be like that person talks so, but then I would be like that person talks, so, turns out I was just jealous and then I started loving talking, loving hearing what comes out of my mouth. It's amazing, you know, and it's that state of curiosity I'm sure I said that before I started speaking I'm like, oh, I wonder what I'm gonna say, because I used to think'm going to say, because I used to think everything needed to be completely scripted. I didn't understand that. People just started talking with no idea what they were going to say through the whole diatribe. So enormous evolution. What a gift I wish I could. I mean, I totally could put that on my resume. But I don't need a resume. I made a one sheet to get on other people's podcasts. That's all I need. I am my own boss.

Speaker 1: 30:42

Okay, new story. I am, generally speaking, okay being single. I think I have, you know, I'm accepting more and more and more the situation, and and then I have a day where I absolutely cannot tolerate being single. I am so angry and so sad and so lonely and I, you know, overflowing with painful emotion. And this happened I'm not sure when the last time it happened. I think it was probably like three months ago, because I remember going on a walk around my neighborhood, walking in the dark on the safest little curvy street back and forth and yelling quietly, yelling. You know how you do, like how dare you Just crying, yelling, walking, trying not to scare anyone. Occasionally, someone pops up and you're like, oh shit, um whatever. We all talk to ourselves. So it happened the other day and I'm like is this connected to my cycle? It's so hard to tell, since I haven't had a uterus for just over 10 years. I did try to take my temperature for a while. It made zero sense to me, you know, to like graph my hormones, to know when I was at what point in my cycle, and I'm just like this is cruel and unusual.

Speaker 1: 33:15

I am this person who loves love, who loves romantic partnership, who thinks that it is one of the most important things on the whole planet that we have come here to be in relationship, to heal all of these things through romantic relationship, through other relationships, yes, but through your primary relationship. I want to live with someone. I have lived in places for too long because I didn't want to live by myself. I don't think people should be alone. I think this is a horrible experiment gone horribly wrong. Also, I don't want to move into a household of strangers. So there's that I want to live with my person, with my beloved, with my man, and I was tripping out and was telling my guides and angels that I hated them for keeping him away from me, and then I had to be like I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, when I had purged it all out.

Speaker 1: 34:22

Now, now I don't know, when I have days like that, if filling myself with the honey love of the divine and seeing myself step up a vibrational staircase is going to change it on that day. Sometimes just being in it is the medicine and sometimes letting that story and that energy be done and be gone and be on its way as quickly as possible is the best thing I used to tell my close people and that if I'm having a really bad day, please tell me to go smoke a joint, because I will not think of it and there's no reason for me to sit here and suffer. And sometimes the suffering is like the emotion is is right there, it hasn't busted through so it can overflow. It's just anxiety that I don't know what to do with now. If you're anxious, you'd probably just need a good cry, start shaking, let your cells open up so it can spill out. You know, have a dance, touch your body something, find, find the way that works for you. But it's so hard to remember when you're at that place and you're like oh my god, I'm having so much anxiety, my body's so tense, I don't know what to do. Orgasmic alchemy that's going to relax your body, maybe a yoga nidra so your body can relax and let it out, so you know another way to work through it faster. There's some ways if you can even remember.

Speaker 1: 36:22

But that's what I was going to say about smoking joint. Sometimes I'm just stuck in my head and I can't cry it out because I'm stuck in my body right, like everything's so tight and if I smoke just a little bit I actually almost never smoke joints. I have a one hitter. I am uber, uber lightweight for plant medicine. I smoke it in the bathtub because I can't pass out and fall down and hurt myself when I'm in the bathtub, so sometimes I just need to hold it and that is enough. But if I, if I have a little bit, then it lets it pour out and it can be very intense. I think so much of the time we're using cannabis to not feel the feeling revealing. And if you use it in large quantities, I'm sure that will happen, but just a little bit will let the emotions spill, you'll get some clarity about it, you'll feel like you've come back to center, and coming back to center is is, I think, might be an incredible tool.

Speaker 1: 37:47

In general, I heard someone say something about the broadcast of their soul. I might I might be making that up, but I heard the word broadcast and it was in an energy healing capacity. Yeah, because I'm all up in the matrix, energetics, quantum energy field of healing these days and loving it. But let there be magic. So she said broadcast and I was like, oh, I could tune my dial so I come into the wave alignment with the wave that my soul is. I'm sure I did not explain that in the way that I meant to, but hopefully you can tune in to the transmission of what I'm saying and you can imagine a dial and however you see it like, we all see things differently or feel it differently or know it differently and what works for you is perfect. But I could tune myself like an antenna, like a, like an old tv antenna or a radio and bring myself to where there wasn't the static, where I could hear myself, see myself, the energy of my core being clearly and colorfully, and it felt it. I saw my energy come into place, like it's slotted into place into alignment. Lots more tools like these to share and go ahead and tune yourself in right now.

Speaker 1: 39:45

Oh, one more thing that's what I wanted to say, so freaking out about being single, and I had that session with my friend, liz Elizabeth, and she was telling me that my guides said, because I asked, what am I needing to learn to be available to romantic partnership or something like that? And my guides were saying that my, my vibe, basically my being, needs to be in a higher vibration of love. I like I get that they're saying like you can't be needy for it, because I think I've proven to myself the other things the sovereignty thing, the, the independent money thing, as we have spoken of so many times and will continue to I'm sure there's always new levels but that I needed to be resonating with a higher frequency of love for this relationship to come together, because that is the relationship that I need to be in. And I feel like they're saying, basically, that I am not good enough. So I was pissed off, I was kind of insulted. I can't remember I was fighting with them and I was, yes, fighting with my guides, telling them you know why I should have this and why I should have it now, and you know my logic is correct. So just fucking bring him to me. And then I was like God, I hope they think I'm funny. So I'm going to not be lazy and not let my mind whip off into its infinite layers of bullshit and not enoughness and you're totally fucked up and that's why you don't have the romantic partner that you desire.

Speaker 1: 42:35

I did feel like someone told me once that I needed that. He was already up here and I needed to come up to reach him now if he is good for him. But maybe he might like to reach out his hands and help me step up, as I think is easier to do in partnership. It's so much easier for me to be in a good mood and be inspired and be all of these beautiful things that I know that I am when I'm with someone else. There's something about partnership and being part of a team and just being in connection with another human being that you know, ones that I love, ones that I appreciate and know well. That changes my whole experience. So I guess I will be letting myself feel that energy of partnership which I was.

Speaker 1: 43:45

I was like I love the feeling of partnership. My friend was here and we were both like working on our computers at the same time and it was like see how much more I'm getting done just because there's another person in my house Coworking amazing. So I would love to have more of those people in my life. I I want that family of friends. I just don't want to go looking for it. I want those people who are already, who I already have these deep and abiding relationships with, instead of the well, let's get to know you and oh, nope, don't like you and oh no, I don't like you and oh, I don't think we vibe well, right, like. I just want the ones I already know that I love. How do I bring those people together? And does my husband live in Portugal? My guides are not at liberty to answer. I'm sure there was one more thing I wanted to say, but I don't know what it is and I'm not going to sit here and stare at myself waiting if it comes or if it doesn't come. So I would love to know what rang out in this for you. Where are you finding resonance? Where are you finding mirroring? Was there any like aha moments? Please, please, message me, and I'm sending you so much love.

Speaker 1: 45:43

Thanks for listening to this episode of the Good, the Bad and bad and the sexy. I hope that it served you in some way and, if it did, please reach out to me on instagram at the good, the bad and the sexy and tell me about it. Also, is there someone in your life who needs to get in on this conversation? I would love it if you would share the show with them. It's so much more fun to talk through these things together. Remember to get your free follow along. Orgasmic alchemy self pleasure audio guide in the show notes below. I look forward to connecting with you again next time. Ciao for now. © transcript Emily Beynon.